experience, immortal memories

IMMORTAL MEMORY “when been strong is the only choice you have”

If I could have you back for just a second of my life.  It is not until you lose it that you know how much you appreciated.  Why it is that way? Those special moments,  conversations, all the advice  she gave me are memories that always will live in my heart until the time will meet again.

My precious mother.

I remember was February 10 2007, dinner time, I heard  a voice within myself.  I jumped and said to my husband, is my mother calling me, I heard her voice.  At the moment he thought that I was having a breakdown or worrying too much about my mother health, lately she was not feeling good.

It was a  stronger force commanding me,  you have to go to see your mother. Immediately I called the airport and reserved air line tickets to leave to Puerto Rico and be with her.  And yes it was so far away that I couldn’t way the time to leave.

My husband and I arrived  at the International Airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico on February 12, 2007, about 11:00 am.  I went straight to the hospital where my mother was hospitalized, but they already has released her to go home.  I felt desperate, can’t wait to see and hug my mother.

When I finally got to see her, tears runs out of her eyes, and then she look up to the sky,  giving thanks to GOD, for letting her to see her daughter one more time, something in my heart knew that she was not doing good.

I spend the rest of the day with her, she can’t hardly talked, just smile to me, as she always did.  Only one day I could take care of her before she went to heaven.

It was February 14, 2007, Saint Valentine Day, at 3:00 p.m. and  I was holding her on my arms, she was smiling, but my instinct was telling me that she was saying good-bye.  Her hands skin started losing the color and turning pale, that was the sign of my mother last breath.  Till these days I felt a deep pain in my soul, that I couldn’t save her life.  At that moment on life, near my mother-death experience, I caught my breath, my eyes blinking tears, and all I need to be was strong in difficult times as she has taught me.

My mother lived a humbled life, she always live to help others, never keep anything for her, she was caring, always sharing whatever she had. She was a humanitarian person, not selfish at all, and that is what she always remind her kids to be.  Very intelligent woman for her time and generation she has lived.

I felt the pain, that I didn’t shared more time with her.  We live separated lives for so many years, but we were the best of friend, we talked every Wednesday. I still remember, when the telephone ring in the morning, I knew it was her. I missed her and it will never be another love like she gave me, unconditional, no regrets, no demanding, just a sincere pure love.

It was a Divine Plan, she was waiting for me, I was alone with her, only the two of us in her humbled home.  My older sister has step out at the moment, and then, that was my mother and me last conversation, last hug, last smile until we will meet again.

Perhaps, I should let my mother death experience, be my teacher.  I could learn from it, I just need to be willing to listen to my inner voice, the voice of my Angel, telling me don’t cry it just going to be until we meet again.

She taught me to be strong, humbled, to appreciate and be grateful for everyday of my life, to enjoy everything I will have through my life, but more than else, she always had said to me “do not do unto others what you don’t like others do unto you”.  Those are the precious values that provides and gave me direction on how to live every day-to-day my life.

It was not easy to emerge from an emotional depression.  The fact that she is no longer with  us (my family) it will always cause me pain, but she will be forever in my thought,  in my heart til’ we meet again.

Love is #1 of the most important emotion that brings people together.  If you can only love enough…If you can only love enough…

My beloved parents  at their wedding day.   My mother died at the age of 90 years old.  My father died at the age of 82.



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